An experimental short story created with wine ipsum.
Introduction
I stumbled across the wine ipsum website. Wikipedia defines lorem ipsum as “placeholder text commonly used to demonstrate the visual form of a document or a typeface without relying on meaningful content”. Lorem ipsum may be used as a placeholder before final copy is available. So wine ipsum is simply wine placeholder text. and here below is a circa 3500 word short story compiled with from random wine texts as on wineipsum.com/
Enjoy! You might learn something. I certainly did.
Cheers!
Prologue
Meat is paired well with reds. Take a sip of wine and hold it in your mouth for a few seconds, then either swallow it or spit out. Fruity flavors, with aromas of rose petals, peaches, and allspice. Monks and monasteries of the Roman Catholic Church have had an important influence on the history of Burgundy wine. Acidity is a key element in a wine’s longevity. A popular but unconfirmed theory claims that Malbec is named after a Hungarian peasant who first spread the grape variety throughout France. Spice, strawberries, oak and tar. Can’t taste them? Drink more.
Sulfites are found in nearly all wines, produced by the yeast during fermentation. Trichloroanisole, or stinky cork, is produced when chlorine used in sanitization comes into contact with natural cork-dwelling bacteria.
Red table wine is not made from red tables.
Chapter 1
Shiraz, Syrah, what’s the difference? There is none. Wine is often served with dinner. The pink color can range from a pale orange to a vivid near-purple, depending on the varietals used and wine-making techniques. Pinot Grigio and Pinot Gris are two names for the same wine. Let mature reds breathe for twenty to thirty minutes, if you can. Uncork that thing, decanter the contents.
Viticulture is the cultivation, science and study of grapes. The classic profile of Cabernet Sauvignon tends to be full-bodied with high tannins and noticeable acidity that contributes to the wine’s aging potential. Loamy soils, which are usually preferred for growing most plants, actually produce rather flavorless wines. Young red wines may require several hours to aerate – if there’s still any left. Sit and intelligently sip a glass. The world’s oldest person – at one hundred twenty-two – attributed her longevity to a diet of olive oil, port wine and chocolate. Chenin blanc boasts a bouquet of fresh pears, saffron, jasmine, ginger, and quince.
Red wine was associated with blood by the ancient Egyptians.
Meat is paired well with reds. Wine, women, and song – not necessarily in that order. A botrytized wine is made using grapes that have been allowed to become mouldy. Acid, tannin, fruitiness, oakiness, are all components of balance. Tannic, full-bodied wines are described as chewy. Decantering opens the wine through aeration, allowing the wine to display its full range. Hint: Sangiovese is a four syllable word. Maybe more if you’re drunk.
Chapter 2
Wine, women, and song – not necessarily in that order. The term meritage is a blend of merit and heritage, and usually describes blended California wines. Red wines usually trump whites in alcohol content.
The first stage of wine tasting is looking over the appearance of the wine. Well-regarded sparkling wines include Espumante from Portugal, and Asti from Italy. Viticulture is the cultivation, science and study of grapes. Pursing your lips and inhaling some air while the wine is still on your palate is also a nice way to spread the more complex flavors through your sinuses. Chinon is a town in France renowned for its winemaking. When at a wine tasting event, one is not frowned upon for spitting wine out.
Though you’ll commonly hear grapes referred to as “fruit,” botanists technically classify grapes as berries since each fruit forms from a single flower.
Red wines are well attributed to positive health benefits. Uncork that thing, decanter the contents.
Acidity is a naturally occurring component of every wine. At sea, brutes have raided wine barrels. Ideal for sipping, Gewürztraminer is one of the sweeter whites. Let mature reds breathe for twenty to thirty minutes, if you can. The host of a dinner should take the first sip of wine to assure his guests it is not poisoned.
Chapter 3
Grapes crushed and ready for fermentation are called must. Red wine was associated with blood by the ancient Egyptians. Yeast is necessary for the fermentation of grape juice into wine. Dry Lambrusco pairs well with junk food.
In the unreliable summers of northern France, the acidity of under ripened grapes was often masked with chaptalization with unsatisfactory results, whereas now the less ripe grapes are made into popular sparkling wines. Decantering opens the wine through aeration, allowing the wine to display its full range. Egg whites are sometimes used in the clarification process. Some whites age better in stainless steel. Roll the wine around your mouth with your tongue and note the different flavors. Wine and a sonnet to ponder.
Trichloroanisole, or stinky cork, is produced when chlorine used in sanitization comes into contact with natural cork-dwelling bacteria. Oak imparts vanilla, toast, caramel and coffee. Pursing your lips and inhaling some air while the wine is still on your palate is also a nice way to spread the more complex flavors through your sinuses.
In order to increase the alcohol content of their wines, some vintners began adding sugar to the grape must in a process called chaptalization.
Sommelier is an elegant euphemism for professional wino. Monks and monasteries of the Roman Catholic Church have had an important influence on the history of Burgundy wine. Quip intelligently over oak-aged Chablis. The word “sauvignon” is believed to be derived from the French sauvage meaning “wild.”
Chapter 4
The first stage of wine tasting is looking over the appearance of the wine. In cooler climates, cabernet sauvignon tends to produce wines with blackcurrant notes that can be accompanied by green bell pepper notes, mint and cedar which will all become more pronounced as the wine ages. The best wines impart a lingering, complex and rich finish. Don’t be shy: wine experts stick their nose deep into the glass in order to pick up the complex nuances. Acidity is a naturally occurring component of every wine. A good wine will have a lengthy aftertaste.
Hint: Sangiovese is a four syllable word. Maybe more if you’re drunk. It may be the oldest known type of wine, as it is the most straightforward to make with the skin contact method. Pinot Grigio and Pinot Gris are two names for the same wine. Intense hatred of wine is called oenophobia.
Strong notes of cedar, gin, with a cinnamon finish. Bouquet refers to wine’s aroma.
Chapter 5
A popular but unconfirmed theory claims that Malbec is named after a Hungarian peasant who first spread the grape variety throughout France. Sangiovese – go ahead, pronounce it. Pinot noir is French for “black pinecone,” a description of the grape’s appearance. Red wines usually trump whites in alcohol content. The aftertaste, or “finish,” is the primary factor in judging the quality and character of wine. During racking, a wine is moved to a new barrel and separated from sediment in the old one. Chinon is a town in France renowned for its winemaking.
Cheese is a perennial pair with chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, don’t get started on the pinks and reds.
The first stage of wine tasting is looking over the appearance of the wine. Sit and intelligently sip a glass. Overripe grapes can make the wine taste burnt. When Cabernet Sauvignon is paired with steak or dishes with a heavy butter cream sauce, the tannins are neutralized, allowing the fruits of the wine to be more noticeable. A toast to one’s health originated in Greece – it meant “I’m not trying to kill you.” White is good with fish.
Egg whites are sometimes used in the clarification process. Sparkling reds include Lambrusco, from Italy, and Brachetto D’Acqui.
Chapter 6
A “butt” is a medieval measurement for the liquid volume of wine. Aroma, bouquet, nose – wine is smelly business. The principal acid in wine is tartaric acid. Unsubstantiated rumor states that the more colorful the label, the less quality the wine.
The bung hole is the opening in a cask through which wine can be put in or taken out. Chenin blanc boasts a bouquet of fresh pears, saffron, jasmine, ginger, and quince. Some whites age better in stainless steel. Wine and a sonnet to ponder. Sulfites are found in nearly all wines, produced by the yeast during fermentation. If a husband found his wife drinking wine in the early Roman times, he was at liberty to kill her. Acidity is a naturally occurring component of every wine.
Red wines usually trump whites in alcohol content.
Pinot Grigio and Pinot Gris are two names for the same wine. Meat is paired well with reds. Bouquet refers to wine’s aroma. Boxes, while repugnant, hold viable vinos. Terroir is the taste of the territory.
Chapter 7
Chinon is a town in France renowned for its winemaking. Throughout history, wine has been consumed for its intoxicating effects. Spice, strawberries, oak and tar. Can’t taste them? Drink more. Acid, tannin, fruitiness, oakiness, are all components of balance.
Wine grapes grow almost exclusively between 30 and 50 degrees latitude north and south of the equator. Viticulture is the cultivation, science and study of grapes. The first stage of wine tasting is looking over the appearance of the wine. Fruity flavors, with aromas of rose petals, peaches, and allspice. Delicacy is prized in pinot noir and riesling. The world’s oldest bottle of wine is over 1600 years old and can be found at a museum in Germany. Some wines are made from rotting grapes: Botrytis, or noble rot, makes good dessert wine.
Ideal for sipping, Gewürztraminer is one of the sweeter whites. Monks and monasteries of the Roman Catholic Church have had an important influence on the history of Burgundy wine. Shiraz, Syrah, what’s the difference? There is none. The Bordeaux wine region accounts for more than sixty percent of the cabernet sauvignon grown in France. Serve dry Semillon with clams, mussels, or pasta salad. Grand Cru wines are produced from the small number of the best vineyard sites in the Côte d’Or. Smoky is usually a byproduct of oak barrels, or, less often, of drunken arson.
When Cabernet Sauvignon is paired with steak or dishes with a heavy butter cream sauce, the tannins are neutralized, allowing the fruits of the wine to be more noticeable.
Chapter 8
Trichloroanisole in the cork can impart musty, mouldy overtones. Such a wine is called “corked.” Dry Lambrusco pairs well with junk food. In the unreliable summers of northern France, the acidity of under ripened grapes was often masked with chaptalization with unsatisfactory results, whereas now the less ripe grapes are made into popular sparkling wines. The actual color of the wine can range from violet, typical of young wines, through red for mature wines, to brown for older red wines. The best wines impart a lingering, complex and rich finish.
Well-regarded sparkling wines include Espumante from Portugal, and Asti from Italy. Hint: Sangiovese is a four syllable word. Maybe more if you’re drunk. The term meritage is a blend of merit and heritage, and usually describes blended California wines. The concept of foie gras begs a brash blanc. A mommy needs more wine than adolescents. The level of perceived sharpness is referred to as acidity by sommeliers, or “tartness” by drunks.
White is good with fish. In response to violent demonstrations by protesters, the French government began regulating the amount of sugar that can be added to wine in the early twentieth century. At sea, brutes have raided wine barrels. Shiraz, Syrah, what’s the difference? There is none. Red wines are well attributed to positive health benefits. The cabernet grape variety thrives in a variety of vineyard soil types. Pursing your lips and inhaling some air while the wine is still on your palate is also a nice way to spread the more complex flavors through your sinuses.
Chapter 9
Terroir is the taste of the territory. A bouquet becomes more complex and nuanced as the wine ages. The proper way to hold a wineglass is to position it so that the wine goes into your mouth. Red wine was associated with blood by the ancient Egyptians. The Romans named Sangiovese after the blood of Jupiter; that must have been some hangover. Starts strong on the tongue with explosions of plum, floral, fruits. The Bordeaux wine region accounts for more than sixty percent of the cabernet sauvignon grown in France.
Alsace, in Eastern France, is highly regarded as a winemaking region. Bouquet refers to wine’s aroma. A botrytized wine is made using grapes that have been allowed to become mouldy.
Though you’ll commonly hear grapes referred to as “fruit,” botanists technically classify grapes as berries since each fruit forms from a single flower. Throughout history, wine has been consumed for its intoxicating effects. A complex cabernet is a good one. Red table wine is not made from red tables.
Viticulture is the cultivation, science and study of grapes.
Chapter 10
Sit a minute and sum up the flavors in the finish. A “butt” is a medieval measurement for the liquid volume of wine. Quip intelligently over oak-aged Chablis. Grand Cru wines are produced from the small number of the best vineyard sites in the Côte d’Or. Chenin blanc boasts a bouquet of fresh pears, saffron, jasmine, ginger, and quince. Overripe grapes can make the wine taste burnt. Cheese is a perennial pair with chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, don’t get started on the pinks and reds.
Amaron is made primarily from Corvina grapes dried on racks before pressing. Spice, strawberries, oak and tar. Can’t taste them? Drink more. The pink color can range from a pale orange to a vivid near-purple, depending on the varietals used and wine-making techniques. Oak imparts vanilla, toast, caramel and coffee. Pinot Grigio and Pinot Gris are two names for the same wine. A lingering finish indicates a luscious vintage! A wine has legs if it sticks to the inside of the glass when swirled.
In California, the main stylistic difference in Cabernet Sauvignon is between hillside / mountain vineyards and those on flatter terrain like valley floors. Boxes, while repugnant, hold viable vinos. The level of perceived sharpness is referred to as acidity by sommeliers, or “tartness” by drunks. Chardonnay’s buttery, toasty or clove-like finish. Sparkling reds include Lambrusco, from Italy, and Brachetto D’Acqui. Unsubstantiated rumor states that the more colorful the label, the less quality the wine.
Chapter 11
The principal acid in wine is tartaric acid. The concept of foie gras begs a brash blanc. Wine is often served with dinner. A mommy needs more wine than adolescents. Ideal for sipping, Gewürztraminer is one of the sweeter whites.
Well-regarded sparkling wines include Espumante from Portugal, and Asti from Italy. Let mature reds breathe for twenty to thirty minutes, if you can. Shiraz, Syrah, what’s the difference? There is none. Aroma, bouquet, nose – wine is smelly business. All grape juice is white, only the skins of purple grapes contain the dark pigment. Cheese is a perennial pair with chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, don’t get started on the pinks and reds. Wine grapes grow almost exclusively between 30 and 50 degrees latitude north and south of the equator.
Red wines are well attributed to positive health benefits. A “butt” is a medieval measurement for the liquid volume of wine. Meat is paired well with reds. Strong notes of cedar, gin, with a cinnamon finish. When Cabernet Sauvignon is paired with steak or dishes with a heavy butter cream sauce, the tannins are neutralized, allowing the fruits of the wine to be more noticeable.
The word “sauvignon” is believed to be derived from the French sauvage meaning “wild.”
Starts strong on the tongue with explosions of plum, floral, fruits. Wine is often served with dinner. Amaron is made primarily from Corvina grapes dried on racks before pressing. Overripe grapes can make the wine taste burnt.
Chapter 12
The best wines impart a lingering, complex and rich finish. Roll the wine around your mouth with your tongue and note the different flavors. Sangiovese – go ahead, pronounce it.
Pinot noir is French for “black pinecone,” a description of the grape’s appearance. Sit and intelligently sip a glass. Spice, strawberries, oak and tar. Can’t taste them? Drink more. Thunderbird is a screw-top classic.
Sit a minute and sum up the flavors in the finish. Some wines are made from rotting grapes: Botrytis, or noble rot, makes good dessert wine. Viticulture is the cultivation, science and study of grapes. Vatican City is the smallest country in the world, but it consumes the most wine per capita worldwide. Pinot Grigio and Pinot Gris are two names for the same wine. Wines that are named for a region are always capitalized – Bordeaux, Burgundy, Champagne, Rioja, Chianti, Lambrusco, etc.
Younger grapes can instill herbaceous notes on the nose. White is good with fish. A botrytized wine is made using grapes that have been allowed to become mouldy. Acid, tannin, fruitiness, oakiness, are all components of balance.
Chapter 13
Grand Cru wines are produced from the small number of the best vineyard sites in the Côte d’Or. Oak imparts vanilla, toast, caramel and coffee. Toasting was originally the practice of dropping toasted bread into wine to temper excessive acidity. Women have a higher fat content than men. What does this have to do with wine? Because fat doesn’t absorb alcohol, women get drunk faster. The cabernet grape variety thrives in a variety of vineyard soil types. Red wines usually trump whites in alcohol content.
Chardonnay’s buttery, toasty or clove-like finish. A grape in the glass is worth two on the vine. Gulp. Swine and wine pair well. High-end corks are handmade. Delicacy is prized in pinot noir and riesling. Red table wine is not made from red tables.
Sit and intelligently sip a glass.
The world’s oldest person – at one hundred twenty-two – attributed her longevity to a diet of olive oil, port wine and chocolate. Wine grapes grow almost exclusively between 30 and 50 degrees latitude north and south of the equator. Tannic, full-bodied wines are described as chewy. Wine, women, and song – not necessarily in that order. Well-regarded sparkling wines include Espumante from Portugal, and Asti from Italy. The actual color of the wine can range from violet, typical of young wines, through red for mature wines, to brown for older red wines.
Chapter 14
Ideal for sipping, Gewürztraminer is one of the sweeter whites. Younger grapes can instill herbaceous notes on the nose.
Some wines are made from rotting grapes: Botrytis, or noble rot, makes good dessert wine. Intense hatred of wine is called oenophobia.
In the unreliable summers of northern France, the acidity of under ripened grapes was often masked with chaptalization with unsatisfactory results, whereas now the less ripe grapes are made into popular sparkling wines. Egg whites are sometimes used in the clarification process.
Burgundy is the definition of a strong red. Bouquet refers to wine’s aroma. Women have a higher fat content than men. What does this have to do with wine? Because fat doesn’t absorb alcohol, women get drunk faster.
Research shows that white wines keep lung tissues healthy.
Young red wines may require several hours to aerate – if there’s still any left. Oak imparts vanilla, toast, caramel and coffee.
Is wine vegan? Not if it uses gelatin in the clarification process. Grapes crushed and ready for fermentation are called must. Let mature reds breathe for twenty to thirty minutes, if you can. Sit and intelligently sip a glass. Dry yet sweet whites complement fish, chicken and pork dishes. A popular but unconfirmed theory claims that Malbec is named after a Hungarian peasant who first spread the grape variety throughout France. Alsace, in Eastern France, is highly regarded as a winemaking region.
Epilogue
Acid, tannin, fruitiness, oakiness, are all components of balance. Winemakers refer to screw caps as Stelvin enclosures, because it sounds better than “lid.” Rotten sémillon grapes are the secret to Sauternes. Red wine was associated with blood by the ancient Egyptians. The world’s oldest bottle of wine is over 1600 years old and can be found at a museum in Germany. Grand Cru wines are produced from the small number of the best vineyard sites in the Côte d’Or. The bung hole is the opening in a cask through which wine can be put in or taken out.
Sangiovese – go ahead, pronounce it. The principal acid in wine is tartaric acid. Yeast is necessary for the fermentation of grape juice into wine. Hint: Sangiovese is a four syllable word. Maybe more if you’re drunk. Pertinent info is found on the label. A good wine will have a lengthy aftertaste.
Pursing your lips and inhaling some air while the wine is still on your palate is also a nice way to spread the more complex flavors through your sinuses. Wines that are named for a region are always capitalized – Bordeaux, Burgundy, Champagne, Rioja, Chianti, Lambrusco, etc. Sit a minute and sum up the flavors in the finish.
Quip intelligently over oak-aged Chablis.
And there you have it.